September 29, 1969 [10 Oct 1970 letter refers to this letter as recent. 16 Sep 1970 letter refers to getting the stationary this letter uses. The year written on it is certainly an error. Should be 1970.]
                     Tuesday
Dear M&D,   8:20 pm.

I have to say that I just thought of this. Of what I'm about to say. I just thought of something for which I, yes, am sorry for. Now that I think of it though I do feel funny to speak of it. But it pains me more so to say, not to give wind ^{(or to air)} of my feelings.

My line of thought carried me to it, I forget how. But as it did, here it is. I have found that I'm very sorry for saying, "No." (I do not fear you). "I fear my hate for you." This was a very hateful statement and could not help but breed hate, among other unpleasant feelings. I'm sorry

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Dad. I wish there were some other name that would fit you better than "Dad" here in this (that) sentence. You are my father. That is what you are to me. My feelings are much better fit with the phrase "my father"--of course as used previously. But then, of course, that does not fit in the sentence. I cannot say Mr. McCormick, or Cliff, or Mac because they have no relation to me as I feel.

^{PS. I realize (I think) why I said it. It was as a mechanism for defense to make (or keep) a (or my) front one of boldness. Or to try to make my own self seem on top; as to say. This was a very poor thing to do, I can not gain much from always thinking that I am right, or that I am the only one with feelings. Thank you.}

Love,

 Mike

 There it comes.